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Wearing a Mask While Black Means Non-Stop Scrutiny During COVID-19 Pandemic

April 22, 2020 by Jonathan Tolliver

7-Eleven hot wings hurt, but it’s a good kind of hurt. So when the craving hits, I strap on my mask and walk down the block to the billion-dollar bodega to make some culinary mistakes. 

Listen, security follows me in stores. It happens every 2-3 days without fail. But this guard was beyond. He followed me from aisle to aisle making direct eye contact, staring into my soul. 

Of the many scourges of racism, being followed in a 7-Eleven ranks low. But when a virus is laying waste to scores of people while the economy craters and Americans are looking for someone to project their fears on, black people intrinsically know we’re going to suffer. So when an overzealous, non-black security guard is in my poultry-pining grill, I get anxious, worried he’ll escalate the situation. 

In L.A., I’ve been asked to leave stores just for walking in. I’ve been completely ignored or overcharged at restaurants with what feels like a black tax. I’ve been screamed off a bus when a driver thought I’d stolen my student bus card, and I’ve been followed in retail shops as a matter of course. Once again, these incidents aren’t on racist par with mandatory minimums, redlining, being fired without cause, or getting beaten by police, but they have a cumulative effect. 

We’re also reminded time and again that there’s little punishment for prejudice. Hell, there’s rarely even acknowledgment. In 2015, the LAPD dismissed 1,356 racial profiling complaints, with then-Los Angeles Police Commission President Matt Johnson stressing there’s no way to effectively gauge officer bias. Crazy how that works.

Now, in the midst of a global pandemic, wearing a mask makes this 10 times worse. You know folks are wary of you ’cause you’re a giant black person with civil-rights hair, and now you’re covering your face. Sounds like a great way to get hurt to me, and it turns out I’m not alone.

Two black men went viral after posting what they say is a video of them getting kicked out of a rural Illinois Walmart for wearing protective masks. One of the men, Jermon Best, told a local news outlet they posted the video to “shine some light because this happens so often.” In Miami, Dr. Armen Henderson, an internal medicine physician with the University of Miami Health System, says he was detained in front of his home while loading supplies for unsheltered people.

Both incidents ended without violence, but I can’t help but worry that it’s not so much a matter of if but when a terrified bigot causes irreparable harm to a black person in a mask. And that’s not the only thing that worries me or those I spoke with.

L.A.-born, Oakland-based artist and scholar Mia Boykin is back in Los Angeles during the pandemic. She worries that because her mask is made of bandana material, it could be mistakenly associated with gangs, a point echoed in this poignant Washington Post piece. She also highlights a different but related type of public haranguing black folks deal with: people invading our personal space. 

“Black people experience either hypervisibility or invisibility,” she says. “I find that when I go shopping, [people] will act like I’m not there and won’t abide by the six feet social distancing rules. So I spend most of my time dodging people and trying to claim as much space as possible and being very clear about my physical movement so as not to be touched by people or near anyone.”

This point is particularly prescient when you consider that black people are contracting and dying from COVID-19 at disproportionately high rates. CDC data indicates that despite accounting for 13% of the population, 30% of COVID-19 patients are black. In Los Angeles County, 17% of COVID-19 deaths as of early April were black patients, even though black people make up 9% of the county’s population. Someone standing too close could have dire, fatal consequences— yet another risk for a community besieged by health problems caused by generations of institutional neglect. 

Meanwhile, East Hollywood-based party promoter Marcel Hill has the opposite experience. He says he gets glared at in shops and avoided in the streets, a one-two punch of prejudice.

“It wasn’t until I went to my local grocery store and started noticing certain ethnic groups staring at me in a way I hadn’t noticed before. It was the type of stare that you could feel in the back of their mind was like, ‘Is he wearing the mask because of COVID-19 or is he going to try and steal something or rob the place?'” he said. 

At the same time, following media reports of the virus’s outsized impact on black communities, Hill says he’s noticed people “jumping out of their way” to avoid him “as if they knew I had coronavirus because I’m black.”

“I think the problem with that narrative is not that some things can be true, it’s that it gives people who already have a ‘certain’ feeling about black people a pass or an excuse to discriminate against black people under the disguise of COVID-19,” he explained. 

All these things have happened to me, too. The leaping, the staring, all the greatest hits of insidious bigotry. Whatever, I’m still gonna get those wings, even if they do taste like breaded table salt. It would just be so sick to walk into a business I’ve patronized some 30-40 times and be treated with respect every time, knowing I won’t be subjected to the nauseating trio of derision, suspicion, and supervision. 

Walking while Black is already a health hazard. This pandemic only ratchets up the physiological and psychological malaise we’re sadly used to. Is there a vaccine for that? 

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Happenings

MOCA Celebrates Their New Free Admission Policy with a Special Celebration this Saturday

January 9, 2020 by Jonathan Tolliver
Photograph courtesy of The Museum of Contemporary Art, Los Angeles. Photo by Elon Schoenholz

MOCA money, no problems. The revered downtown art museum is completely free starting Jan. 11 thanks to a $10 million gift from Board of Trustees President Carolyn Clark Powers.

The museum announced the move last May during a gobsmacking press conference, during which executive director Klaus Bisenbach highlighted the increased accessibility the gift allows. The gift funds the first five years of free admission, and supplements the museum’s $136 million endowment.

MOCA will launch free admission with a free, family-friendly cultural celebration at both MOCA locations on Jan. 11, with a free shuttle running between locations from 11:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.

Festivities include talking tours, games, food trucks, and free ice cream from My/Mo Mochi Ice Cream, a mobile art studio presented by Self Help Graphics, hands-on workshops, and curated DJ sets by Directory. Plus: The Japanese American National Museum will provide free admission all-day to help join in on the celebration.

MOCA’s two DTLA campuses are at 250 South Grand Ave. and 152 North Central Ave. Parking could be a challenge, but both locations are easily accessible via Metro.

In all likelihood the opening day celebration will draw big crowds, so make sure to file in early. Attendance in general is expected to spike, a boon for art lovers city wide and beyond.

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Happenings

A Free ‘Friends’ Themed Pop-Up Comes to the Santa Monica Promenade in December

November 22, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
LEGO replica of the Central Perk Coffee House. Photo via AT&T

Phoebe or not Phoebe: That is the question. AT&T is launching an all-engrossing pop-up in Santa Monica for the Central Perk faithful. The nearly three-week, totally free experience opens Dec. 5 and features some of the shows most memorable moments and locations, re-imagined. 

Artist Nathan Sawaya created a life-size recreation of the famed Central Perk coffee house with over a million LEGO bricks, including the timeless orange sofa and tons of other pieces you can interact with. 

Take a peek into Monica’s purple door and take in clips from the show. Honestly the door alone is pretty tight. Iconography defined. 

There’s also a karaoke-grade recording studio where you can try your hand at ‘Smelly Cat,’ the timeless ode to a flatulent feline. Not for nothing, but a rap version of that song would crush. 

You’d best believe there’s a trivia-challenge, too. It sounds more involved than your run-of-the-mill dive bar experience, with touch screens asking fans to put scenes in the right order and match characters to phrases and whatnot. Godspeed! 

Yes, this was clearly AT&T’s idea, but there’s also a Friends ‘Tech Timeline,’ which highlights some of the technology used on the show throughout the years, but also dives into the tech used to watch the show.

It also spotlights ‘the changing speed of streaming services’ and ‘data usage highlights,’ with ‘AT&T tech moments’ sprinkled in. Listen, nothing in life is truly free. This part sounds fun, pretty sure! 

Lastly, there’s a gift-shop perfectly timed for the crush of holiday shoppers. Please don’t buy your spouse a Friends mug for Christmas. Just get it for yourself, you know it’s what you really want. 

You can grab free (!) tickets Nov. 25 at FRIENDSxATT.com. This experience runs Dec. 5-23, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily at the Santa Monica Promenade. There’s a Monica pun in there somewhere! 

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Happenings

“Christmas in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter” starts on Thanksgiving Day at Universal Studios

November 20, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Photo via NBCUniversal

Expecto Pa-Tree Lighting! Universal Studios Hollywood is once again serving a heavy dose of Hogwarts-themed holiday magic with the return of “Christmas in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter”, a fully-committed imagining of the series’ multi-layered universe, which starts next week on Thanksgiving Day.

Picture it: Hogsmeade village is decked out in holiday accoutrements while a sure-to-be-gobsmacking lightshow illuminates Hogwarts castle. The storefronts from the series get their own sweet set decoration, details sure to enchant the Potter faithful. Stick around for a nighttime display of dimensional animations set to music from the movies, gasp as the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is bathed in color and light. 

Settle in for a ribbeting performance by the a cappella Frog Choir, which is literally Hogwarts students singing in harmony with frogs. Here’s hoping they take this act on the toad. 

I’m no snitch, but you should know you can buy tons of collectible custom ornaments, from a decorative snow globe to mascot ornaments for each wizarding house, to tree toppers and garland. 

Photo via NBCUniversal

Watch out for Minions frolicking through the park as part of ‘Despicable Me Minion Mayhem’ and ‘Super Silly Fun Land,’ major attractions that add whimsy and a double-dose of goofiness to the proceedings. 

All this holiday cheer is included in the price of admission. Don’t tell the Grinch, but sounds like a steal. This all runs daily from Nov. 28 through Dec. 29. Tickets are available here.

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Food, Happenings

Big Kahuna Burger from ‘Pulp Fiction’ Pops Up in Hollywood This Week for Two Days Only

October 29, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Image via Fat Sal’s

Are you ready for your IG story to be inundated with Pulp Fiction culinary cosplay? Well if you want to get in on the fun, you’re gonna want to hit Fat Sal’s in Hollywood tomorrow and Thursday – Halloween! – when they transform the space into the famed ‘Big Kahuna Burger’ referenced in the infinitely quotable classic film. Now that is a tasty burger!

Stuff yourself with loco moco fries, shakes, and hella burgers in Hawaiian themed environs. They’re even recreating the famed pawn shop from the film. This is what commitment looks like.  This is also more than enough impetus to dress up as one of the movie’s characters and make friends with the scores of other people in referential garb. Sal’s doesn’t skimp on the meats, so come prepared to eat and use an environmentally-unfriendly amount of napkins. Can’t get ketchup on that Winnfield-white shirt.

Image via Fat Sal’s

Double-entendre alert: expect lines. This is gonna be very popular, and folks will be quoting the movie at you non stop, probably. Be sure to brush up before you head out.

Fat Sal’s Hollywood is located at 1300 N. Highland Ave. It will be open starting at 11 a.m. on both days and is pretty close to the red line and some big bus lines. Get thee to this bunnery!

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Happenings

This Super-Secret Comedy Series is a Quiet Riot

October 18, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Photo by Jonathan Tolliver

Do Laugh, Don’t Tell: The country’s most-elusive, invitation-only comedy show is can’t miss, despite the secrecy. Ticket-holders don’t know the lineup ahead of time, and shows are typically in unfamiliar, DIY settings. You don’t know who amongst the crowd is a comic or just another tipsy person ready to laugh. Aye caramba. 

On an unseasonably warm Saturday night in Los Angeles, a curious crowd made up mostly of newcomers shuffles into an unmarked Mid-City art gallery for this BYOB show, wine in tow.

The show is tight (see: on time) and the acts are laser sharp. Sean Leary opens the night with a set that is half-improvised and unrelentingly funny. He mixes deft crowd work with big, brash punchlines.

“I’m a bro, but I’m one of the good ones. I’ll fuckin shotgun a beer while I do a fantasy football draft, but I’ll pick your ass up at the airport. I’ll talk to your mom on the phone, and it’ll be a good conversation,” he quips. 

Anna Simeri brings the same energy, performing a boisterous set that pokes fun at skimpy music festival fashion and conservative Midwest values. 

“I’m almost 30 and I’m from Indiana. I’m a fugitive of the state, they won’t let me back because I’m not married. The last time I went back they were like ‘Where are your babies? Go back to California and burn!’ So that’s what I’m doing,” she says. 

The audience is made up mostly of mid-twenties young urban professionals, all of whom seem pretty primed to laugh. Something about the mythology of this show and its SoFar Sounds meets Laugh-in energy is irresistible. You feel like the coolest person in L.A., let in on a secret no nerd dare possess. 

There’s also the hope that someone huge will show, as earlier drop-ins include SNL’s Chris Redd and famed actor / comic Ali Wong. No wonder these 50-75ish person rooms regularly sell out. Nothing sells like sexy mystery. 

Fabrizio Copano, he of the dead-on Jerry Seinfeld impression, jokes about confusion around his race.

“I moved here with my girlfriend. She’s from Texas and I’m from Chile, so she thinks I’m Mexican,” Copano says. 

He follows up with an extended bit about fooling Netflix’s algorithm by watching Peppa Pig followed by a documentary about ‘gay dogs in Indonesia.’ 

“At the end, Netflix is like, ‘Well, we recommend you kill yourself.’ And they’re right,” he jokes.

The swiftly-rising Subhah Agarwal (The Jim Jeffries Show) is a big hit, delivering a sarcastic and endlessly approachable set laced with scathing takedowns of racist white guys. 

“I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos of Neo-nazis. Before you judge me, white people watch an entire week of videos dedicated to sharks, we just have different predators.” 

Grant Kotter closes the night with a scatological set rife with dark humor about his not-great relationship with his father – “My relationship with my dad is like Fetty Wap’s eye. There’s something there, but what is it?” – to jokes about audience members sleeping together. 

“We are just mere feet away from a black light room, do you think any of us have any good intentions tonight?” he muses. 

His set builds to a fever pitch; by the end the room is both dying of laughter and fully scandalized by his sex-obsessed stoner bro with a heart of gold schtick.  

This was a great night. There was real life to the room, a refreshing change of pace from the sort of “show-me-the-funny” vibe of Hollywood comedy clubs and the too-cool-to-laugh energy at a lot of Eastside haunts. There look to be a ton of shows coming up all over Los Angeles, so pick one that works for you and act fast. This won’t be a secret for much longer.

Tickets for Don’t Tell Comedy performances range from $15-$25. The next show is this Friday, Oct. 18 in Mar Visita. You can find the complete upcoming Los Angeles schedule here.

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Happenings

You Can Book This Lisa Frank Penthouse in DTLA Starting Friday

October 10, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Courtesy: Hotels.com

Calling all Frank-o-philes: You can now live among the Polyphonic acid trip artwork of Lisa Frank, and for pretty cheap, too. Hotels.com is giving folks the chance to rent a room decked out in the beloved and brilliant unicorn candy dreamscapes featured in the school supplies of literally 90s kid for a measly $199 bucks a night.

The Lisa Frank Flat is a penthouse in a DTLA hotel pop-up, and is stocked with pretty much exactly what you’d expect: hella candy, coloring supplies and more nostalgia than you can shake a trapper keeper at.

You remember those iconic gay dolphins? Well you can find a painting of them hanging out in the bathroom, beaming at you during one of life’s most private moments. Not sure how you’ll go back to your off-white, pizza stained apartment walls after staying here, but you’re an adult and you can make your own choices.

Courtesy: Hotels.com

The room is available for a very limited Oct. 11-27 run. You can reserve a night starting on Friday (that’s tomorrow, Oct. 11) at this link.

Courtesy: Hotels.com

Unfortunately no specific time on Friday is specified for when reservations go live, but know they’ll probably be booked up before you can say “Did I do thaaat?” Get it? The 90s? Act fast!

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Happenings

This Haunted House-Inspired Art Show is Now Open in DTLA

October 10, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Artist: Kimy Kask. Ask her about Prince.

Downtown Los Angeles teems with spooky haunts; long shuttered theaters reopened, abandoned warehouses turned into rave dungeons, and myriad one way streets. Miss a turn, lose your day! It’s only fitting that a haunted gallery pops up during this, the spookiest of months. Picture it:

It’s Saturday night and DTLA pulses. A small line forms on a bustling Spring St. sidewalk. Shuffle in and you’re surrounded by kitschy and super-freaky art from floor to ceiling. You’re not sure what to make of it, but your senses are instantly engaged. This is the The Haunted 2: Welcome Foolish Mortals, a fully engrossing and ghastly walk-through experience at The Hive Gallery.

Offerings at The Haunted 2 run the gamut. Artist Cody Doran’s work is intense as hell; his painting of a mouse with its face-skin pulled back to reveal a gaping and grisly maw will live in my nightmares for some time. 

Artist: Cody Doran. Creepy, right?

Gray Oddities showcases some particularly well done and esoteric work, these handcrafted horror figurines that are at once lifelike and otherworldly. Arachnikita, which looks like the woman from The Ring with like, 12 legs, was a standout, and a relative steal at $100. That’s a conversation piece if there ever was one. 

Are you my mother?

It’s not all spooky stuff, though. Artist Kate Laird’s work is poppy and bright. Her painting of Ilana from Broad City captures the spirit of that offbeat TV show, a wacky inflatable arm man dancing next to the show’s famous morphine induced hallucination of a purple dinosaur, next to a cheeseburger. 

Kimy Kask’s work leans heavy on 80’s pop music iconography, with Debbie Harry and Prince prominently featured in her diverse, mixed-media presentation. There’s real joy and slight unease in her art, and if you ask, she’ll talk to you with real passion about the process and emotion behind the pieces. She’s rad. 

For gallery owner and curator Nathan Cartwright, this is both old hat and a very-exciting new pop-up. He’s impossibly cordial and sarcastic as hell, a reluctant promoter who’d rather talk about the nuts and bolts of the show. 

“There’s all the cheesy shit like, see what all the buzz is about at The Hive. We’ve been doing this for 15 years, or I’ve been involved for 15 years. This was made just for this show,” Cartwright told We Like L.A., pointing to a sturdy and imposing installation. 

He wants folks to get the full experience, which on opening night includes Ghost Host tours and tarot readings by Seraphime Angelis. The space is inspired by haunted houses, with big, cryptic pieces providing the jump scares. The website specifically cites the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland as an inspiration, which you can totally see in the whimsy-meets-terror vibe permeating the space. 

Pengu Labs, an animatronic media house, designed the environment, and totally went all in. Their ghost fly was a big hit, a piece that at first looks static until you notice the, well, ghost fly, floating through the glitchy frame. They also brought an imposing coffin rocking chair, a gnarly and gorgeous piece in a gallery mostly filled with paintings. 

As an aside, I must mention the fantastic shaved ice on hand for the opening, a lovely treat in this extended L..A Summer. Also, shoutout to DJs Big Epoch and The One and Only Super Bee! for keeping the room ghoulish and poppin.

The Hive Gallery is located 29 S Spring St, Los Angeles, CA. The exhibit runs now now through Nov. 3, open Wednesday to Saturday from 1 to 6 p.m. It is pretty easy to get to via train or bus.

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Happenings

Vidiots Video Store to get a Second Life in Eagle Rock in 2020

October 4, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Rendering via Vidiots Foundation

Be Kind, Rewind: Vidiots is back! The beloved video store and cultural institution is coming to Eagle Rock in 2020 with a restored 90-year-old, 200-seat theater and a storefront with over 50,000 videos for rent in DVD, VHS and Blu-ray. The eagle has landed, sheesh. 

Vidiots’ new digs will be the former Eagle Theatre at 4884 Eagle Rock Blvd, which first opened as the Yosemite Theatre in 1929. According to Cinema Treasures the venue’s multi-purpose past includes early days as a vaudeville and silent film spot, multiple 20th century renovations, a 70’s run as an adult film theatre, and most recently as home to a church for the Brazilian based Universal Church of the Kingdom of God.

The new tenants aim include a smaller screening room for special events, workshops and more esoteric programming. The folks behind the relaunch are also partnering with local restaurants on a rotating menu. What better place for something like this than L.A., a city teeming with film-junkies and fantastic food. Mwah.

Rendering via Vidiots Foundation

Vidiots first-opened in Santa Monica in 1985, and is slated to come back in fall of 2020, just before its 35th birthday. It’s long been a home for cinephiles, lovers of cult-classics and devotees of brick-and-mortar film-finding expeditions. This new location carries the same spirit, or hopes to, and lands smack dab in one of L.A.’s quirkiest neighborhoods. 

Famed director Jason Reitman donated a 35mm projection system to the theater, and the new build-out already includes plans for state-of-the-art sound and visuals. The Vidiots team have been busy – even though the theater doesn’t open for another year – partnering with Alamo Drafthouse on Video Vortex, which offers free movie rentals at L.A. Drafthouse. They’ve also struck up partnerships with other L.A. institutions, including an upcoming series of 16mm films at The Bootleg Theater. 

For more information on Vidiots visit vidiotsfoundation.org

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Happenings

These Giant Glowing Human Sculptures Will Invade DTLA in October

October 1, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Photo via The Rose Group

Honey, they blew up the fig! A massive humanoid light installation descends on DTLA’s bustling FIGAt7th shopping plaza Oct. 30 through Nov. 10, and of course it’s free to check out.

The imposing-in-a-thoughtful-way luminous beings are part of Fantastic Planet, a daring public art piece by Australian Artist Amanda Parer. They’ll live among us, observing the crowds at FIG while serving as the backdrop to countless selfies. 

These sound so wonderfully terrifying, a jaunty scare while you eat froyo and watch your own Instagram story. They’re also thought-provoking and gobsmackingly pretty. 

Parer’s work is pop, it’s ethereal and it’s curious about the natural world. She’s acclaimed the world over, and blessed Los Angeles with giant bunny light sculptures back in 2016

Intrude Bunny Sculptures
Intrude sculpture installation at FIGat7th back in 2016. Photo credit: Brian Champlin

The human-looking sculptures she’s bringing this time around are inspired by a 1973 Czech / French film La Planète Sauvage, a movie that features, you guessed it, giant human-esque creatures. 

You’re allowed to lightly touch the sculptures, take pics, gawk and start a cult based on their imagined lives, but you can’t kick, punch, lie on them or bring dogs near them.

FIGat7th is open from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. daily, and is located at 735 S. Figueroa. The installations will be there Oct. 30 through Nov. 10. It’s free and open to the public, and not terribly far from the 7th Street Metro stop. 

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Happenings

Enchanted Forest of Light Returns to Descanso Gardens on Nov. 17

September 25, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Ancient Forest. Photo via Descanso Gardens

Everything is illuminated is more than an enchanting movie title; it’s a way of light. The rabidly popular -and unrelated to the film-Enchanted Forest of Light is back for its 4th year from Nov. 17, 2019 to Jan. 5, 2020, and promises a semi-surreal, lush and luminous one-mile walk through Descanso Gardens.

Think interactive installations: you stroll along the path, manipulating bright and brilliant displays, living your full Fern Gully fantasy under the glow of multi-watt magic.

Crowd-favorite ‘Celestial Shadows’ by HYBYCOZO is back, with twirling jagged, geometric installations that play with perception through shadow and light.

‘Celestial Shadows’ by HYBYCOZO. Photo via Descanso Gardens

The uber-romantic ‘Lightwave Lake’ light show is also back, as is ‘Aqueous,’ artist Jen Lewis’ multi-pathway, loosely-structured interactive light eleganza.

New this year is sculptor Tom Fruin’s stained glass installation at Descanso’s beloved Mulberry Pond, which sounds meditative and magical.

They’re also adding some live razzle dazzle to this already lit event, with performances by California School of the Arts students in Van De Camp Hall, as well as DJs on December 6, 7, 13 and 14.

Tickets to a special Nov. 16 preview party are on sale now. Descanso Gardens members can buy tickets to the Nov. 17 through Jan. 5 run of shows starting at 10 a.m. Oct. 1, while non-members can purchase tickets starting at 10 a.m. Oct. 15. Snag yours at enchantedLA.com.

This is a timed-entry event, so you select your preferred block of time to stroll the gardens. As mentioned before, Enchanted is also super-popular, so be sure to choose your times ASAP.

There are also ‘Members Only’ nights listed below, so plan accordingly.* General admission (adults, seniors, children 2–18): $28 & up (depending on date and time selected)
* Descanso Gardens members pay $23 & up (depending on date and time selected)
* Children under 2 are free, but still require a ticket
* Member-Only Nights: ‪Dec. 20‬, 21, 22, 23, 26, 27, 28. $25
* Enchanted with Entertainment Nights: ‪Dec. 6‬, 7, 13, 14. $27-32

If you want to get more of the flavor of an Enchanted Forest of Light experience, check out a video of We Like L.A.’s visit from 2017 below.

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Happenings

Malibu Wine Safaris is Launching a ‘Haunted Nights’ Tour Starting This October

September 16, 2019 by Jonathan Tolliver
Photo via Malibu Wine Safaris

Do you like your Riesling spine tingling? Your vino, screamo? Well if you’ve ever wanted to enjoy a luxurious, pastoral wine tasting tour and safari while also living in measured terror, then Malibu Lights: Haunted Nights tour is right up your alley.

The Halloween edition of the uber-popular Malibu Wine Safaris promises “otherworldly dimensions, haunted forests, psychedelic sci-fi tunnels and beyond,” attractions that sound equal parts haunting and picturesque, like watching a scary movie under the northern lights. This sounds like an instagrammer’s dream; your story will be the envy of all your friends.

It all goes down at the famed Saddlerock Ranch, where you’ll ride in a truck to elegant tastings peppered with the occasional spooky encounter. Make sure you hold those glasses by the base, not by the stem! Wouldn’t want to spill your cab during a jump scare.

Tours are 21+ and run you $55 for 90 minutes and six tastings. If you want a little more time on this haunted ChardonnHAY ride, there’s a $75 deluxe option that includes an extra tour stop and two tastings.

These tours run Oct. 4 thru Nov. 3 on select Thursday through Sunday dates. Tickets are available here.

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